Mens' bikes, Katanas.  I don't fancy the new bikes - haven't done for years.  This one, you can park it anywhere there'll be a right crowd round it in seconds.  Standard bikes, no matter how new, won't get that."
    John Morton waxes eloquent on his immaculately prepared, brutally tuned Katana (which he'd kept clean, gentle reader, by bring it to the studio in a large and smelly cattle truck).
    "It used to be a straight 1170 when the oil pump went and seized the top end.  I was gonna get a 1260 when Jack Valentine (V&M - Ed) said why not a 1393?  I said yes, so he said in that case I'd need heavy duty studs and so on.  It didn't take much to talk me into it.
    The result is so much power you wouldn't believe.  We wouldn't believe it either, except that V&M's horsepower figures invariably turn out to be true.
    "It makes 171.6 bhp at 8,750rpm, 165 at 10,000 and 100bhp everywhere over 6,000rpm.  You want a go?"
    Does the sun rise in the morning?  John had fitted a longer swing arm to prevent the bike wheelying itself to death in - ahem - drag racing applications.  The extra four inches on the wheelbase certainly kept the front end down,  but made the bike flop over in corners a bit.  Gearing - 72mph @ 4,000rpm - was sadistically low.  Coming out of 30 limits in top gear it took around seven seconds for the needle to hit the 9,000rpm redline.  I tried one standing start and got wheel-spin until the far end of fourth gear. GSX-R1100L?  Pah! Derestricted FZR1000EXUP?  Small potatoes.  Bikes like this Katana should be banned.  The people who ride them, tune them and write about them should be locked up.
    John couldn't agree more.

RP

SPECIFICATION

Engine

Suzuki Katana. 1393cc achieved by Orient Express cylinder block and huge pistons. Full race cylinder head with Suzuki EFE valves (2mm oversize). Pro cams, new crank, new crank cases (bored out), heavy duty main bearing studs, billet clutch, Vance & Hines high ratio oil pump gears.  38mm flat slide Mikunis, alloy stoneguard, Dynan ignition, copper gaskets and rubber "O" rings sealing barrel and head. Voluminous Swedish oil cooler, Goodridge oil cooler pipe and breather, Vance & Hines filters, stainless Eagle exhaust.  Peak torque from V&M's Superflow dyno 111lb-ft @ 7,000rpm., Peak power ~ 171.6bhp @ 8,750. It might have been more but the compression had to be lowered to get the starter to turn the motor over.

Chassis

Stock frame, epoxy polyester coated. Spondon 4in over swing arm with air reservoir (unused). CBX1000 S&W shocks (1.5 in longer than stock). Marzocchi M1R forks. SD Katana footrests, Harris adjustable yokes, QD clipons.

Wheels, Brakes and Tyres

2.5x18 Astralite front, 4.5x18 rear. Front brakes: 320mm Spondon floating discs with Spondon two pot calipers and GSX-R1100 master cylinder. Rear brake: Spondon 230mm floating disc, Brembo two piston caliper, Spondon torque arm.

Items other than the above

Katana 1000 switchgear, Harris brackets for brakes, etc.

Thank You Master

Jack Richmond.  Express Coatings - epoxy coating of frame.  All the lads, Harris Performance - forks and brackets. Goodridge  - Good ridge. Autopaints of Sheffield - paintwork. Jack and Steve, V&M Racing - 170bhp, the knarrs. Thanks also to Mike, Alan's Motorcycles, Needham's motorcycles in Doncaster, Gaz, Kev, me Mam and Steve Burns.

STARTURN

FULL NAME  John Morton
DATE OF BIRTH  2/3/65
OCCUPATION  Butcher
PERFECT MOTORCYLE  Katana 1400
DO YOU LOCK THE LAVATORY DOOR EVEN WHEN THERE'S NO-ONE IN THE HOUSE  No
IF YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME, WHERE WOULD YOU GO?  Ancient Britain
HOW DO YOU RATE YOUR RIDING ABILITY (MARKS OUT OF TEN)? ten
HOW MANY POINTS DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR LICENCE?  nine
NOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN STOPPED BY THE POLICE?  loads
HIGHEST OBSERVED SPEEDO READING  off the clock

WORST HANDLING MOTORCYCLE YOU'VE EVER RIDDEN  Kawasaki Z1100R
HAVE YOU EVER GOT YOUR KNEE DOWN?  only when fallen off
ANY INTERESTING DISEASES YOU'VE HAD  herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, etc
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE FACET OF YOUR APPEARANCE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  turn big bulge into massive bulge
FAVOURITE FOOD/DRINK  chicken vindaloo/Newcastle Brown
WHICH CATEGORY DO YOU FALL INTO:
GREASY BIKER / COLOURED LEATHERS / ENTHUSIASTIC HOBBYIST / IGNORANT GIT  ignorant git

E-mail Performance Bikes at Perf.Bikes@ecm.emap.com